hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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