i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
