Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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