I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Four minutes until I can fart!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize