i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize