The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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