Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
