People in love make me want to vomit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
