I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just google imaged poop.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
