My liver just broke up with me...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
