so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
