you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
