North Korea, Best Korea!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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