I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
