How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
