im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
