you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
