Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
