You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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