its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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