I CAN MOONWALK!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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