Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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