I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
