So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
