Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you inspire me to be a worse person
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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