I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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