That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
