I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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