Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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