David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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