Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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