I cockslap morals
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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