two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's blow job season.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
