Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
