That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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