THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
