Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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