you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
