first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm really busy with my period
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