Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
