so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
