I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
