i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
