hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
