Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Me too!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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