Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
