is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
