I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
