Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize