the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize