Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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