I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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