We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize