I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize