Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My feet surprised me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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