Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
