He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
