dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
