she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
