I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
