just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
